Open Question: Obsession with getting pregnant…?
i am very maternal and want a child so badly…thing is im only 20 and nearing 21…i dont have even a boyfriend…i am on good birth control….and im the kind of girl that really would rather wait till after im done with college and married to have a child….however im not sure where it came from but im having this ever constant urge to become pregnant….for about the past year…..i really just want to give in and get pregnant against my better judgement…im in no position where i can push school aside because if i am not a full time student by the time im 23 i could loose a very very good insurance plan that is free and will take care of me pretty well…not only that but i could qualify for a program that will pay completely for my education no matter how many degrees or whatever i want to obtain…im in a really good situation that could become fragile and fall apart if im not careful about my actions…..i know against my better judgement that its probably the worst thing for me to do right now….i just cant get it out of my mind…ive even considered paying someone to impregnate me…im not loooking for child support or anything like that….in all honesty i dont even care if the father is there…i just want a baby…im not really sure what my question is…i guess i just want advice…maybe its one of those things that i need to take a chance and trust that things will be ok… also i am on the shot(mostly because im so forgetful with the meds im already on! lol i dont need any surprises i wasnt expecting…) and i have spent a good amount of time aroudn children and babies in my life…often caring for physically disabled children through horseback therapy and in hospitals and elementary schools…and at 12 i was forced to take care of my brother since my mom just was always too busy or sleeping…so i know what its like to have a newborn to care for and im not really into guys under the age of 26…im often too mature for men under 30 in many intellectual ways…so i do really prefer to be logical but this is one of those things i feel out of control mental obsession with…its even depressing me….ive even picked my christian faith back up asking for children in the next two years with the promise that id steer them towards a faith with God…and im really not religious but im desperate enough to try it…. and yes ive been around psychology my whole life and i dont think ive spent a year of my life without a therapist/counselor….i go every week and im alot better mentally than i used to be but honestly there are MANY things i have to cope with on a daily basis that will never go away…like my depression/mixed-bipolar/hypothyroidism/anxiety/ADD/aspergers(very high functioning obviously but still a sufferer)and my seizures..(yes i really have all these things…..ive been asked to be diagnosed several times by many different doctors that always come up with the same stuff and the medicince works as well as it can even with the intensity of my mixed bipolar episodes which are pretty bad when im off meds).which even tho i want a child badly im so afraid to pass these things on…it seems a bit out of control in my family genes…so even tho i continually obsesss about it i know the odds are against me for having a mentally healthy child that wont suffer like i have throughout my life
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Open Question: Obsession with getting pregnant…?
